Monday, April 23, 2012

Things I Learned on Maternity Leave

As I near the end of my 9 weeks at home on maternity leave (or in today's lingo, FMLA, for Family Medical Leave Act), I have finally had a few moments to reflect on things. More accurately, Pax has finally begun 1) sleeping longer at night, 2) taking naps and 3) taking naps that last longer than 10 minutes. Since I am more rested, I, being the terrible nap-taker that I am, have been thinking while I should be napping. These things that I've learned on maternity leave are what I was thinking about yesterday.

1) The baby is in charge. Period. If he wants to eat, end of story. Whatever I'm doing (for instance, eating breakfast) is officially over and/or paused until an unknown time. This morning my cereal sat on the counter until 10:30. If he has a poopy diaper, it needs to get changed, 5 seconds ago, unless I enjoy prolonged crying in my ear. If he is in a smiley, cooing mood, everything stops for that as well, because who could resist trying to keep this face around longer?

2) Get comfy pajamas. E. ssential. The first couple weeks after bring the little guy home, a person moves slowly, and the comfier you are, the better. I had a pair of the lightest, softest black pajama pants loaned to me that I wore for the last trimester of pregnancy and the 6 weeks after the baby was born. I was loathe to give them up...

3) On the other hand, never underestimate the power of a shower or fresh air. I am a shower person. I ALWAYS shower every day. First thing in the morning. So, when I got to take a shower the day after Pax was born, it was amazing. I finally felt like I could emerge from this crazy experience and rejoin the world again. Then, after staying in the house for so long and camping out with the baby, getting in the shower and cleaning off the dust that has been sitting around your house for a month along with you feels amazing. So does getting out and realizing that the world has changed to an entirely different season while you were dedicating most of your day to nourishing another human being. Exercise does a body good. It does a body even more good if Grandma can watch the baby while you get your exercise :-), though the sling is an effective back-up.

4) Let people help you. As I learned how to take on an entirely new role in life, it was immensely helpful to have friends and church family bring us meals. It meant we could sit around in the evenings and stare at this amazing new person in our lives! When my parents were here and I developed mastitis, my mom "took control" in her words, and made let me stay on the couch all day feeling sick. I haven't had that in ages! How fantastic :-D Having a mother-in-law come and fold my laundry (as much as I hated to let her do it), was a huge blessing too. As it turns out, it's awfully difficult to fold a T-shirt with one hand :-) If someone offers to do something for you, protest once for your dignity's sake, and then accept.

5) If something isn't right, get help. Generally, my "seek medical attention" philosophy is Wait a few days and see if it gets better on its own. This worked nearly 100% of the time previously, (but it sure helped to have a Nurse Practitioner mother who could confirm that there was nothing to worry about). My other medical philosophy is "Walk it off and/or Suck it up." Needless to say, I don't go to the doctor often. However, before the baby was born, through our Bradley classes and a book I'd read on breastfeeding, I knew within 5 days after Pax was born that something was not right, because I was in pain. The nurses at the hospital, my obstetrician, and a lactation consultant all told me that nothing was wrong, I just had to get used to the feeling. However, a wonderful person at church who has done a lot of work with LLL, convinced me that it shouldn't be that way, and so I kept looking elsewhere. Finally, I found a lactation consultant and a subsequent pediatrician who confirmed that something was wrong. The baby wasn't getting enough to eat because of the bit of skin under his tongue was too short. A simple 5 minute procedure took care of it, and he started gaining weight like nobody's business. Without  prodding from someone to get help, I never would have known this! So again, get help if something doesn't seem right. You've got time; do it.

And those are some of the things I learned while learning to be Momma, which as it turns out, can be a really enjoyable job  :-)



[This accidentally didn't get posted until now. Oops! We'll call it Mommy brain :-)]

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